Saturday, May 10, 2014

Mother at Heart

Here we are again, it's almost Mother's Day and yet again I am not holding my baby in my arms. Yes, it is very frustrating and I'm going to apologize now if I randomly start crying through out the day but even through all this I still have hope!

Honestly though, even with hope some days just plain SUCK! Some days I just can't take it anymore, I stop trying to keep it together and I am sad. I'm sad because I know without a doubt that God would not have placed this overwhelming desire on my heart to be a mom if that was not going to happen one day and I am sad because that day isn't today. I am sad because I already have so much love for my baby/babies and I don't get to share that with them. I'm sad because there are parents that don't realize that their screaming baby is a gift from God and I would give anything to be tired because my baby kept me up all night.
Some days I am just plain sad!

My prayer is that God will continue give me comfort as we wait for Dallas (our adopted baby) & Jameson (if/when I conceive). I pray that God continues to lead us as we are making decisions about our future family and that He will be with Chris as he is dealing with my emotional  breakdowns.
I am thankful to know that I am not alone through this journey because God has blessed me with an amazing husband and supportive friends that have seen me at my worst and my best and love me the same.

One day I will be a mom
and one day I will get to hold and snuggle my baby on Mother's Day
but for now ...

God Bless

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