Thursday, March 21, 2013

Same old question . . .

In 2011 I posted a blog about the #1 Question that Chris and I have been asked over the past few years.
Can you guess what it was? 
"So, when are y’all going to have kids?"
And in 2011 my answer was, “For those of you that have known me for any amount of time know that I LOVE kids and I am very much looking forward to the day that I will be a mom, but for now, I'm good!”

 Well, that was 2011 and if y’all haven’t notice it's already 2013 . . . . So with that being said here is our newest challenge
 *I am sharing our story because I want others to know they are not alone as well as to ask for your prayers.
– Thank you so much to those of you that have already been praying, it means so much to us! 

I have always wanted to be a mom more than anything else I have done or will do in my life and in April 2012 Chris and I decided it was about to time start a family.

*April – nothing, May – nothing, June – nothing, July – nothing . . . .  

After 4 months of trying I began to deal with different medical issues (which I later found out where symptoms of PCOS) and I had a feeling something wasn’t right. So I made an appointment in July to see what might be going on and it was then that I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome a.k.a. PCOS. The picture below gives a pretty good explanation of PCOS.
 When I got the news I was surprisingly okay. I know a few women who also have PCOS and they all have children with the help of some pretty simple pills so I wasn’t discouraged and my doctor seemed to think that if I started taking Metformin (commonly given to people who have diabetes but apparently can help in situations like this) that it would help to regulate my hormones and in turn I would begin to ovulate and have a baby soon.  I was told that it would take my body about 3 months to adjust to the meds and they were not lying! I’ll spare you the list of side effects but if you’re interested just click on the link above. 
I’ll just sum that up by saying HoLy CrAp August, September, and October were NOT so fun! 

*August - nothing, September – nothing

I went back in September for blood work and the doctor said all my levels where looking good and seemed hopeful that I would be getting a big fat positive soon. I left the doctor’s office still hopeful that I would be pregnant soon. 

*So on things went  . . . October – nothing, November – nothing, December – nothing  . . . 

I went back to the doctor in December and he seem to think things were still going okay but that I should try to lose a little weight and that would hopefully increase my chances. 

Well, that’s easier said than done. One of the unfortunate side effects of PCOS is that it pretty much kills your metabolism which makes the whole weight loss thing a little harder than normal. So, with the help of the Metformin, changing my diet and I am going to a boot camp close to home 5 days a week I'm on the right track. (Thank God Heather is doing it with me, I don’t think I would go if I had to go alone!)

Up to this point I was still optimistic for the most part, I had definitely had my moments of ups and downs emotionally but it wasn’t too bad but at the beginning of this year is when I think everything really hit me, the frustration and doubt had begun to set in.
All those questions that you think would have hit me on the day I got the news flooded in  . . . what is going to happen, how am I going to handling this, why would God do this to me, He knows my heart and my desire to be a mom.

*January – nothing, February – nothing, March – nothing yet 

Over the past few months I have had many break down which are caused by anything from holding a baby to a simple/innocent comment about us having a baby to reading this sign in the book store last week have caused me to lose it. 

Poor Chris has been a real trooper, he has seen me go from being totally fine to uncontrollable crying within seconds and through it all he has remained strong. I am so thankful for him. 

So this is where we are today.  I will be going back to the doctor in April to see what he thinks we should do next so for now we wait! And let me just tell ya, I have truly begun to hate waiting! 

“Give all your worries to Him because He cares for you.” 
- 1 Peter 5:7(NLT)