Over the past year and a half, especially since I filled everyone in on what’s going on, I have gotten a LOT of “advice”. Some of it was great advice from people who have been or who are in my shoes, some OK advice from people who are a friend of a friend of someone who has been in my shoes and then there is that downright bad advice.
*Please know that I am not singling anyone out and I truly do appreciate the
prayers and the words of encouragement so Please Don’t be offended by anything
1. “Maybe this is God’s way of saying he doesn’t want you to be a mom!”
Yes, someone REALLY told me that! As a Christian I know that God has a plan for
my life and clearly that plan is that I am not going to be a mom right now but
I also believe that God would not give me such a strong desire to be a mom if
that was not part of his plan for my life.
“Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart!”
– Psalm 37:4
OK Advice - this is definitely not bad advice but I have heard a LEAST 100,000
times in the past year and a half . . .
1. “stop trying, it will happen”
2. “I have a friend of a friend who adopted and as soon as they got their baby
she got pregnant!”
3. “Don’t worry”
4. “My second cousin’s sister’s friend took that same medicine and she got
pregnant right away, it will work for you!”
No, this is not bad advice but it’s the Go-To responds when people find out you
are having trouble conceiving. Yes, every now and then I need the reminder to
not worry so much but “stop trying and it will happen” is kind of hard when you
have to keep track of meds and such and it is one thing if you are dealing with
or have dealt with this personally but hearing about your “second cousin’s
sister’s friend” is not helpful.
1. ______________________________ (notice, NOTHING! Just listening, wiping
tears and a good ole fashion hug)
2. “I am praying for you”
3. “Write a letter to your future child each month!”
4. “It’s okay to be angry!”
These are just a few but Definitely the BEST advice I have received. Venting
while Chris or friends sit and listen with a box of tissues and wrap their arms
around me and knowing that I have people who truly care about Chris & I and
are praying for us has brought me more comfort than I can even begin to express.
Taking the time to write a letter each month for our future child has also been
a great way for me to relax and focus on God’s plan, not mine!
Lastly, #4 might seem strange but as Christians I think we often forget that it
is okay be get angry but it is not okay to let your anger consume you.
Thankfully Chris is willing to sit up at all hours of the night when I need to
get out all my frustrations so that the anger I feel at times will not consume
“In your anger do not sin, Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry”
– Ephesians 4:26
Like I said before I did not
write this offend anyone and if I happen to list something you may have said
before as “OK Advice” please know that just knowing that you truly care means
the world to us even if you don’t know how to express it!
I have a doctor appointment next month and I'll most likely be switching